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How I managed to get so fucked up for free last night is beyond me. I figured it was safe to go out seeing I had no money to blow, and that I wouldn�t get wasted cuz of that. Guess again. I had 2 jack n cokes bought for me at Jose and Willy�s then Gary, Montrell and I walked over to the Lumberyard for karaoke there and it turned out to be ladies night, and I guess I qualified cuz I got to drink for free for the rest of the night. I think Tabs was spozed to charge me $10 for the big fat sharpied X on my hand, but that never happened. Im not sure how many I had, they were small cups and also Gary and Montrell kept snagging them from me so I was always getting another. I don�t think I had more than three total but I still ended up very fucking sick. I�m pretty sure it�s cuz I had an empty stomach, haven�t drank in a while and the whiskey was bottom shelf rot-gut stuff. I remember having to piss at last call and them not letting me back inside, me pissing out in a field, and then making back to the front sidewalk where my bike was and laying down. I sort of remember puking all over their front entrance (fucken deny me a toilet, bitches) and being asked to move over into the grass. I was nearly beyond movement but John (a cute guy I talked to for a long time in the Farmers back when I first got here, I�ll link to that entry, I run into John all over the place now) was motivating me, actually it seemed like he was using my own words against me �mind over matter, Jedi Mind Trick, of course you can do this, it�s easy� but I�m fairly certain he�s never heard me say such things, it was very odd and confusing. I think Autopilot had something to do with it. I remember Gary saying something like �She�s made of stone, if she doesn�t want to move there�s no way we can make her, it�s not a question of weight, it�s all about her will power.� And I said �I�ll move bitches, just let me stop puking first� and John said �I�m not denying how gracefully you puke, but I think they don�t want you puking on their front door��. And I probably said something like �fuck those bitches, shoulda let me use the baffroom�. I don�t know what happened to my bike, nor do I know who drove me home. I think Gary and Tabs were there and the guy driving was a bartender along with Tabs, but Im not sure. I remember it being ALL leather interior, and it felt like it was a Mustang, you know, the vroom-vroomness of the ride, and the poor kid being scared shitless that Id puke in his car and me telling him that I definitely would not puke in his car and Gary saying that if Joey says she�s gonna do something, or in this case, NOT do something� then it�s not gonna happen. I don�t think he was assured, but maybe now he understands seeing as I did not puke in his car. I only puked a tiny bit more when I got home, in the bathtub, seeing I was pissing at the time. (�Oh Jo why do we live like this?� �Cuz we can�)

I �fell asleep� around 2-2:30am and woke up at 6:30pm, NICE. Not too bad of a headache, right now it feels like it does when I wake up after having taken Aleve before bed, that groggy-foggy feeling. I tried to eat something, managed to get an inch of cheese or so into me, a large glass of water and I�m still working on a rootbeer. I could use some bread though, to go with my cheese, and possibly some caffeine. We�re trying to figure out what to do tonight. There�s karaoke at a few new places but those with cars have no money and those with money have no cars or there�s those like me and Gary without either. Im pretty sure my check is direct deposited tonight and that it might even be there already. Maybe Gary can get his mom�s van. I wanted to meet up with Erin to talk of some Lon relatedness. Also would like to talk to Rachel more, that�s Gary�s friend �adopted sister�, she reminds me of Janet, lots of spitfire crammed into a tiny body. She�s looking for a roommate and we both agree that each other are the only reliable ones out of our group. She has a 4 year old kid though. I dunno. I�m thinking Erin and his current roommate Jesse would be cool to live with also, and there�d be that living with guys being �den mother� factor that Im looking for. The two of them are looking for a bigger place to live and more roommates to live with, and they also know Im stable. Well, as stable as� OK nevermind. My paycheck is stable, they know Im not the quitting or getting fired type.

I just burped and it tasted like watermelon, and the instant I recognized the flavor I had a flashback of me drinking something pink last night, and I have a feeling that I drank more than three drinks.

I got Gary and Erin calling me to see what�s happening tonight. Since forever I have been the one to organize and motivate the gang into action� it�s a job I�m good at but I don�t like it. Back in high school it was �Im not going if SHE�S gonna be there� and it�s starting to be like that now due to break ups and drama between Erin and Tabs and then Brad and Jenn are fighting too (for the last time people: You�re not broken up if you�re STILL FUCKING or STILL LIVING TOGETHER!!) All I know is that I need some bread, and if I can find the #, a call to the bank to check my balance. I just wanna eat some bread & cheese and sing some fucken Journey songs, is that too much to ask?

I want my fucken paperwork from Ohio to come, and I want my fucken Lon back.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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