Defining Moments of My Life
am I not invited to thanksgiving either?

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am I not invited to thanksgiving either?
10.26.04 7:08 p.m.

Im very angry right now. I was fuming, but I settled a little bit. Seems I'm not meant to be part of the family when the relatives I actually dont want to kill still wont give me the time of day. Heather, Mandy, Britt and Livvy are having dinner with gramma right now. Thanks for the phone call bitches. Mandy says "Well it's chinese and you dont like that, we're just eating and going back over to my mom's." whatever. It stings but I'm trying not to be such a crybaby about it. This house is very empty and it disturbs me. The only human contact is with customers at work. This streak of 8 shifts in 7 days is getting to me. And I still have two more nights to go. I have a bad feeling my birthday will turn out bad, I dont have a very good track record of happy birthdays, (except for last year cuz of the strokes) and I'm hoping that will change. I miss my fucking brother. I want my fucking license so I can go see him and Janet.

I'm very fucking hungry, another reason it pissed me off so much that I didnt get a call tonight for dinner. There's food here but none of it goes together. Tomato soup no crackers, cereal no milk, spaghetti sauce no noodles... there are flavor ice in the freezer and that, along with a handful of vitamins, pain relievers and glucosamine condroitin will have to tide me over until I get a break at work around 2am and can eat for free. It's not worth cooking if it's not going to be good. And there werent any fat people in Auschwitz, right baby?

I need to quit moping and go play some fucking guitar. Rick changed the strings on his acoustic last night, I'll have to break em in. I remembered an old poem of mine that would make a great (albeit FUCKED UP) song, only I need to write another stanza or two for it. But I need to go work on that. I'm in the right mood for that poem.


Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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About Me
I am a bipolar genius, child abuse & addiction survivor, who is now a single mother who works 70 hours a week and has had gastric-bypass weight loss surgery a year ago. Wish me luck cuz I need it!!!

Examples of My Insanity
Dead On Mental Health Quiz
Tuna Noodle Casserole Story
Explaining Myselves
Biting Off Redneck's Finger
Got So Crazy Scratched Til I Bled
How I Found Nirvana
Leaving Lon After 7 Years
Bad Luck On 3 July 4ths
Random Craziness (FBI Please Disregard)
How I Ended Up A Junky
Almost Getting Raped by a Marine
Typical Weekend in Ohio
How Cobain Saved My Life


How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?


AFTER


WHAT'S MY NAME?!?