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I got another job. I didn�t quit Horton�s, I just got a job on the side bartending at the Farmer�s. It�s cool cuz I was just saying to Greg that I should ask the owner to put me to work and two days later she�s askin me to work for her. I don�t work that often, basically I relieve the other bartender and open some days when the owner doesn�t feel like it. I�m not sure how much Im getting paid, but the tips are good and it�s all under the table. Also I can keep an eye on Greg while he�s in there and I�d be in there most of the times I�m working anyway so I might as well get paid to be there seein I don�t drink all that much. The owner has a knack for firing bartenders on a whim so I dont expect to be working there very long and wont take it personally when I get canned. I�ve spread myself about as thin as I can get and I�ll be starting school the end of January�. For now it�s fun, I�m good at it, and it�s a nice distraction/keeps me busy and on the right side of the bar (earning vs spending).

With the second job I�ll now be able to move out asap for sure. I�m not going to wait on Greg cuz it seems he�s mostly talk and little action. Though not to discredit him, he pointed out an ad for a three room cabin out on the lake that�s for rent seasonally (we�d have to move by summer) and it�s only $300 a month. I�m going to call today about it to see if it�s still available. If it�s the cabin I think it is, I�ll overdraw my damn account to give em a deposit on it right fucken then. This all brings back the feeling of hominess I got when I went up to Canada to visit my old friend Tyler at his mom�s cabin right on the shore of Lake Erie. It was only a three room cabin, kitchen, bedroom/living room, and a �bathroom�. It was small but beautiful for one person or a close couple. The one in the paper is out on East Lake road, so maybe I�ll get to fall asleep listening to bullfrogs after all.

Some shit�s been goin down at work lately. I been getting lots of hours which is cool but then they�ve got a zillion trainees at the other store that people are saying will be coming down to my store, there�s no need for more employees so the only explanation that there could be is that they�re replacements� and Cindi (my supervisor and buddy) says that bossman asked her how she�d feel about working a different shift. Some anal freak douchebag named Gregory (I called him Greg and he went �No no no, no Greg, it�s Gregory, Greg-or-y, Gregory� no Greg�� and Cindi and I already refer to him as G-dawg, G-man and G-G-G-G-Unit) came down to our store tonight, Cindi says they wanna make him the head baker overnights AND the supervisor, meaning MY supervisor. He says he just moved up here from Georgia (pronounced Jo-jah) and he�s having trubble fondin a fundaMENTAList church roun dees parts�, I�m pretty sure he�s one of those snake bite weirdoes. �Oh you�re a bartender� I don�t partake of the alcohol�� He sounds like Reverend Lovejoy off the Simpsons, if the Rev Lovejoy had a good ole boy accent. Every time G-dawg opened his mouth all I heard was the banjo theme to �Deliverance� and I�m thinking to myself that if they�re trying to switch my girl Cindi, or get rid of her entirely, that I can scare off that lunatic within a week. Pull a hair off his shirt, wrap it around a toothpick, say some words in latin and put it in my pocket� ask him if he wants to see my pictures from the Walpurgisnaught festival� snort some lines of the confectioners sugar and talk to the muffins, bless the bagels with an �Um-nam Shiva, Ta me Kali� you know� shit I do every night there. Anyway, he�s toast.

Some kids came in tripping mother fucken balls last night. The guy was one of the guys Tabs fucked on that day I�m pretty sure she fucked three different guys. I mean statistically speaking there�s a good chance she�s fucked him anyway, but I�m pretty sure it was that guy. They came in and were trying to order shit at Wendys even though the lights are off and the gate is down over the counter. They were all like �Helloooo, can we get some service???� Then they came over to my half of the store, stared at the little gold flecks in the ceramic tile, then the girl tried to tie her mother fucken Birkenstocks� seriously she was tying the AIR, like making motions of shoe lace tying, but without the laces there� THEN they put their foreheads on the display case and stared at the donuts for five minutes. When I asked them if they wanted anything to eat they looked at me like I had three heads and pretty much ran out the door, but it was the opposite door they had come in from and they got all turned around and had to come back in the store, find the door they came in from, and THEN they got into an SUV and probably, hopefully, drove it into the lake.

I oughtta get goin, the bar owner gave me permission to make and sell jello shots tonight. Tonight is dollar pints, two dollar wells, and theyre out of half of the drafts and some of the most common hard liquors so I think they�ll buy lots of j-shots. I might call em �Joey Shots� instead. It�s the busiest night of the week there so I hope and expect to get mad tips. The bar owner wants half of what I make on the shots so I�m gonna sell em for $2, or 3 for $5. Other bars around here have em for a buck but theyre only a third of the way up the cup, and theyre not gonna be bomb-ass strong like mine are. Orange jello and vodka, lime jello and tequila, pineapple jello and coconut rum�. I�d put fruit in em too but the dumb fucks would probably choke on the cherries.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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