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Wow! Slow down, breathe deep, RELAXXXXXXX.

I'm back to work almost full time, I'm doing four overnights a week. School, for the first time in my life, is kicking my ass. I used to be able to get A's and not go to class, so you'd think by taking on-line classes (never having to go to class) I'd be doing alright... WRONG. It's that whole self-discipline shit that I'm still not mastering (or even apprenticing). I'm doing better this week, cut a deal with one of my teachers to do stuff at my own pace (which I thought would be faster, not slower, than the rest of the class, I'm literally retarded this semester), and I caught a break in another class when the prof redid the course schedule of due dates and stretched the amount of time we have to get assignments in. Also, work has been going so well with the "new" overnighters that I have time, about 45 mins or more, each night to do reading or homework at work. It was a rough first two weeks though. I'm trying to get ahead where I can or at least not wait until Sunday to do a week's worth of work.

I still have some kind of appointment every day though. Still doing physical therapy on my knees, add in a dietician and a uroligist. I spent yesterday in the emergency room. I need to back up a bit though. For the last few weeks I've been having dizzy spells and nausea, usually first thing in the morning or whenever I'm really hungry. I thought they were another sign of the diabetes that my doctor says is coming at me. I worked a lot over the weekend and spent a lot of time with catching up in my classes and with Cassidy so I didnt get a whole lot of sleep. I worked saturday overnight, had two hours of sleep Sunday, worked Sunday overnight, stayed awake for physical therapy and finally got to sleep about 2pm. I woke up around 5 to smoke a bowl with Pig Fucker, went back to sleep a half hour later then woke back up again at 8:30 to eat dinner that PF had ordered. I went back to sleep at 10 and woke up about 4 in the morning, wide awake with lots of energy. I pumped some milk for a while and then went grocery shopping. I was way hungry from not eating but once on Monday. We didnt have anything to eat in the house so I figured I'd eat after shopping. Halfway through the store I started feeling really bad. The pain was in the front left side so I'm thinking pancreas or liver, diabetes related. When I got home I was really dizzy and afraid of passing out, I wasn't with it for a while and remember thinking "dude I could die from diabetic coma and I havent even been diagnosed with diabetes yet!) About 8:30 I climbed back into bed but Cassidy woke up within minutes. I made Greg take care of her and told him I wasnt feeling well. The pain got worse and when I started having trouble breathing I told Greg to get Cass ready cuz I need to go to the ER. I was having odd light sensitivity and was in and out on the way there. I never really had pain in the kidney. I was surprised it was that. I'm usually good at knowing what's wrong with me. Right now it's a dull pain and I probably wouldnt notice it if I didnt know I had stones. The doc yesterday said it's most likely calcium build up, maybe it's my prenatals Im still taking, the appointment with the urologist will verify. For now I'm supposed to pee into this seive type thing and try to catch the stone. I have one that's 4mm at the top of my ureter, and one smaller than that still in the kidney. I dont want to cut back on calcium, dairy is my favorite food group. It's either calcium build up or some kind of chrsytalization occuring cuz I dont drink enough water and hold my pee too long (done that my whole life). I was very dehydrated when I was in the ER, they had to put in a catheter and still hardly got a pee sample from me. I took two bags of fluids. I'm on an antibiotic incase of infection. So I'm drinking more water, trying to pee more often. I'm really thinking about the weight loss surgery now though.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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