Defining Moments of My Life
not that I wouldnt mind an all cheese diet

**REGISTER TO VOTE ONLINE!** **SIGN DARFUR ACTION PETITION HERE!!**




not that I wouldnt mind an all cheese diet
05.23.07 2:28 a.m.

ugh why can't I sleep? My brain needs a fucking OFF switch fucking bipolar disorder bullshit. I'm out of paxil, pot AND cast iron skillets to smack against my head. Somebody donkey punch me or something.

I forgot to mention that today I got lab results in the mail from blood work that was done TWO MONTHS AGO and the fucking thing was like I'm seriously deficient in calcium, and vit d. My rion was OK, in that I dont need to take the prescription iron (trinsicon) but just the over the counter iron, but my fucking calcium was like starving kid with bloated belly bad, auschwitz bad. I've been getting sores again around my mouth, this time in my nose too. Like my mucous membranes crack open and it's not pretty or fun. yeah this is the downside of gastric bypass they dont tell you about, you get severe malnutrition, your skin turns to shit and your hair and nails fall out. It's like The Fly or something. anyway the nurse left a handwritten note "Make sure you're taking your prescription calcium TWICE A DAY!! THESE LEVELS ARE NOT GOOD!" and I dont even have a prescription for calcium... hellooooo I cant even afford over the counter anything wtf

The most hurtful thing anybody ever said to me was when Lon said "there weren't any fat people in auschwitz" saying I was eating too much and maybe I should try not eating in order to lose weight... that fat people won't starve to death... and it's pretty ironic cuz that's sorta what's happening to me now since the surg. It was his words repeating in my head that really pushed me to get the surgery to begin with, 5 years after he said them. Insurance comes soon... I start working next Tuesday. When the sun comes up I'll make some appointments. I got a new insurance card in the mail today too, they discontinued food stamps but put me back on medicaid or something Im not sure. No one there knows what theyre doing.

ANother time waster

100 questions
Body: 1. What is the last alcoholic beverage you drank?
cheap (yet potent) whiskey and coke

2. Do you follow college football?
Ohio State and UT, but I've lived in both towns, not a bandwagoner

3. Who took this survey before you?
My ex-almost-step-sister

4. Who was the last person to send you a text message?
my upline in the network sales (aka pyramid scam) thing I'm doing

5. Last time you went swimming in a pool?
when I was 8 mos pregnant, so like august 2005

6. Are you happy?
shhh dont tell anybody

7. Where was the last place you went shopping?
Rank's IGA

8. How do you feel about your hair?
it grows too fast and my roots keep showing (dye em black black black black #1)

9. Where do you live?
Manchester, NY

10. Last thing you ate?
leftover pizza

11. Want to kick anyone's ass?
not just anyone's - EVERYONE'S!

12. Last time you were kissed?
Cassidy kisses me all the time

13. Do you have any expensive jewelry?
silver ring I fished out of the pond, but no nothing really expensive

14. AIM or MSN?
yahoo

15. What classes are you taking?
just finished Nursing Assistant program

16. How many hours on average do you work a week?
0

17. Who do you like right now?
I REALLY REALLY like this skinny goth almost 30 yr old yet looks barely legal guy who likes to walk around town in very wide legged pants and no shirt on, seriously I might rape him

18. Do you watch the olympics?
I prefer winter to summer

19. Last restaurant you went to?
Schooners for my mom's bday, 4 generations of crazy Cass, Me, Mom, gramma

21. Who was the last person to call you?
"Jason who wants to f" is how he typed his name into my cell

22. What's your sign?
scorpio- duh

23. Do you have a favorite number?
13, 22 and 27

24. Last time you did volunteer work or made any donation?
2 terms of service with americorps, summer of habitat for humanity, going to become a nurse so I can do doctors without borders....

25. Where do you spend most of your money?
diapers and whiskey

26. Where does most of your family live?
NY, FL, NC, WA and eastern europe

27. Are you an only child or do you have siblings?
1 real bro, 6 step bros, two ex almost step sibs, 2 "adopted" sibs

28. Ever been called a hoe/slut?
lol

29. Ever been called a bitch?
all the fucking time I love it

31. Favorite kind of beer?
none

32. Have you ever experienced true love?
only once

33. Did you ever collect Beanie Babies?
hell no

34. Collect anything?
cats, no joke I had over 20 one time, also NIRVANA stuff

35. Myspace or Facebook?
Myspace.

36. Do you have T-mobile
No

37. What is your favorite subject?
ww2

38. Do you sometimes wish you were someone else?
yes, then I skin their face n wear it and realize I like myself better

39. Fall for the good or bad guy/girl?
mmmm Harlan wow it was even sexy when he broke my ribs

40. Were you an outcast in highschool?
there wasnt enough room in the cafeteria so they made everybody who ate alone all sit at the same table and KABOOM, my gang was born

41. Last time you saw your parents?
mom every damn day, dad last month sometime

42. Do you have any talents?
heh heh heh

43. Ever been in a wedding?
Janet's

44. Do you have any godchildren?
no one's that stupid

45. Last movie you watched?
Spiderman 3 god it was gay, like HOMO

46. Are you missing anyone at the moment?
Janet, Lon, Geoff and sometimes Prett

47. Did you take a nap today?
yay! it was nice

48. How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
four?

49. Ever been on a cruise?
no, my luck it would catch on fire and THEN I would drown

50. Favorite vacation spot?
any place with roller coasters

51. Favorite genre of music?
is "depressing" a true genre? how bout 80's new wave?

52. Do you have any wealthy friends?
Yes

53. Ever met anyone famous before?
I am an expert at insulting famous people when I meet them

54. Favorite actor/actress?
Johnny Depp (ever since Scissorhands)
Wynonna Ryder (since Beetlejuice)

56. Do you support the troops?
sort of, I mean I dont feel bad when they get shot cuz they signed up to do that and they should already know that they're just cannon fodder but realistically most of the troops are poor not all that intelligent men with nothing better to do with their lives

57. Could you handle being in the military?
I'd be a hell of a spy or sniper

58. Are you hungry or thirsty?
always thirsty

59. Favorite fast food restaurant?
whataburger!

60. Favorite Nightclub?
lol OUTLAND once this chick tied herself up and let dudes pee on her

62. Do you own a camera phone?
no

63. Ever had to take a sobriety test?
luckily no

65. Can you speak any other languages?
fluent french/creole

66. Last time you went to the gym or worked out?
been taking Cass to the park most days

67. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
steel toe doc's, 6 pair of converse, nursing sneakers, couple other pairs

68. Do you have a photo hosting site that you use?
just yahoo photos

69. Last place you were at?
define "at"

70. What is/was your school mascot?
Pacers (dont ask)

71. Ever been to Las Vegas?
when I'm seriously ready to commit suicide I'll go, there's no way in hell I'd make it out alive!

72. Ever been to Canada?
Hello Tyler!

73. Best Friends?
Janet, sorta Danyo

74. Do you have any regrets?
maybe leaving Lon, but I would have died, and him too so I guess it was for the best n all... but yeah sometimes i wish I woulda stayed, definitely left him in better shape....

75. ?????
only sometimes!

76. Have you ever been gambling?
does texas hold em count

77. How old are your parents?
?? 55 for my mom and 60 for my dad??

79. Do you have your wisdom teeth?
no, they came in when I was 13, no lie

80. Favorite place to be?
in bed, why am i wasting sleep doing this shit

82. Favorite sit down restaurant?
it used to be Ryan's Buffet but I cant eat that much anymore

83. Ever been to Disney Land/World?
disneyworld when I was 10

84. Do you have a favorite cartoon character?
Cartman

85. Last thing you cooked?
nuked leftover chili

86. How is the weather today?
getting too hot already

87. Do you e-mail?
of all the dumbass questions in this damn survey

88. Last letter/piece of mail you received besides junk or a bill?
MY CNA certificate!! Also came the same day as a letter from social services saying they're 'turning off' my food stamps lol then also I got lab results from a blood draw and Im seriously like ethiopian child seriously deficient in calcium and iron, there was a note that said "make sure you're taking your prescription calcium and vit D" and I'm like "WHAT prescription you fucken jerks!"

89. Favorite store?
hot topic cuz it's soooo kewl!!! kidding, I have no favorite stores cuz I dont believe in selling/buying stuff everything should be FREE man

90. Are you in Love?
with a stripper? only once

91. Last voicemail you received?
my ex bf's brother who's trying to fuck me or something?

92. Do you drunk dial?
lol I even drunk email, drunk myspace and drunk diaryland

93. Stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone?
I wish I had some kind of truthful perverted response to this but alas, the vibe setting just doesn't shake enough

94. What is the best city in the state that you live in?
Brooklyn

95. Favorite band?
right now it's AFI (dont tell Kurt Cobain!)

96. Last time you were sick?
see # 88. I even have sores in my NOSE this time

97. Are you lactose intolerant or do you have IBS?
I'd kill myself if I couldnt eat cheese

98. Last concert you went to?
wow this made me sad it was sooo long ago... warped tour 2004 I was on mushrooms and good charlotte still wasnt good

99. Ready for the weekend?
I gotta pack my whole apartment in 3 days, which means throwing away half of what I own yet again

100. What did you do last night?
I can't remember, I was gonna say watched the simpson's 400th episode but it's definitely not monday ummmm... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

last :: next
About Me
I am a bipolar genius, child abuse & addiction survivor, who is now a single mother who works 70 hours a week and has had gastric-bypass weight loss surgery a year ago. Wish me luck cuz I need it!!!

Examples of My Insanity
Dead On Mental Health Quiz
Tuna Noodle Casserole Story
Explaining Myselves
Biting Off Redneck's Finger
Got So Crazy Scratched Til I Bled
How I Found Nirvana
Leaving Lon After 7 Years
Bad Luck On 3 July 4ths
Random Craziness (FBI Please Disregard)
How I Ended Up A Junky
Almost Getting Raped by a Marine
Typical Weekend in Ohio
How Cobain Saved My Life


How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?


AFTER


WHAT'S MY NAME?!?