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I know I've mistreated my readers. It's been a long time since my last entry and many interesting things have happened in the meantime. THINGS LIKE THIS


I took about 100 still shots and that's the only one "decent" enough for the diary. I've pushed Andrew's No Porn rule to the breaking point enough so I thought I'd give him a break. I can email pics if anybody wants to see them. PS I'm not in them, I was behind the camera.

So anyway, I'm just getting to be able to do an entry. The computer has been seriously sick, as have I. But let's back up to last Thursday when some serious drama went down. We were hanging out with Pauly Pez, not there for long cuz Cass was with us. Scott wanted to wait around for Michelle and lil Billy to get home so the babies could say hello, so we did that. Michelle was all nice, as usual I guess. Her husband wasn't home yet and Scott had hoped he'd be there so they could talk cars or some other redneck stuff. Scott was getting a little drunk by this point, usually the days he gets checks in the mail mean that he's drinking all day, and not eating much. It was getting on passed dinner time for Cass and I and we got goin. On the way back to our house we pass the Town & Country bar, and big Bill's truck was there so we pulled in and Scott decided he wanted to stay and drink with the boys. He gave me most of his money and all the weed (good boy!). His friends were polite, I know they dont like me, they know I dont like them... but the last three weeks or so Ive been very polite to them, trying to get along. I work it out with big Bill that he'll give Scott a ride home no later than 10. I told him I'm working and have to be up way early, Scott's babysitting and needs to not be totally hung over, plus tomorrow is the baby's birthday and it's gonna be a long day. So around 9:45 I call Michelle's cell to see if I need to come and get him or if they'll be on their way and she got a little snippy, cut it short with a "we're on our way RIGHT NOW" like she said it like it was the 3rd time Id called and not the first. So I hear them pull up and I go out the apartment door and get halfway down the stairs as Scott's coming up, he gets totally too wobbley when he's drunk... and I go to grab his arm and he shoves me back against the stairs and starts calling me a nasty cunt and a cheating whore... "I heard some NASTY shit about you cunt!!!" this is in the stairway, so definitely all three neihboring households heard this, it was only 10pm.... He gets in the door and starts throwing shit at me. Immediately I call Michelle, who doesnt answer, nor does she ALL NIGHT. Scott is a mix of crying and screaming things like "why you gotta do that to me!" and "I really really loved you and now you gotta get the fuck out" he was throwing my things at me and telling me to leave. MEANWHILE Cassidy is on the couch looking at him like "WTF is his problem???" and I try reminding him that there's a little girl hiding behind me in the pillows and he's still not calming down. I took Cass in the bedroom and locked us in there while trying to call around to see what the fuck was going on. I called Pez who said he wasnt around, and I was crying, me and Cass locked in the bathroom together, me distracting Cass with her toothbrushing (spongebob brush and paste worked nice). Pez said he'd try to see what was said or what happened, i told him Scott's threatening me and trying to take all his pills. Pez has a unit phone and cant ever talk long but he genuinely sounded concerned and also I knew he could find out what happened. From the drunken ramblings of Scott I figured out that his friends told him that they saw me fuck someone else in front of the bonfire at Bill's party. I dont know how Scott could even believe that, he knows Im not a cheater but also I was standing next to him pretty much the whole fucking party. Then I remember making out with Katelyn. "Wait, is this about Katelyn? I made out with her but I didnt fuck her... HELLO YOU WERE THERE!" Supposedly in the span of the 10 minutes it took for Jay (Katelyn's man) to run Scott up to the house, I threw down with Katelyn and gave all the boys a show. When I got that figured out I called Katelyn, who got on speaker phone with Scott. Her and I were pissed at what his friends did but thought the whole thing was funny. She says "honey if we ever did fuck it wouldnt be no 10 minutes long in front of a bunch of rednecks!" yeahhh so she calls Michelle to see wtf's up and Michelle text's her back saying she wasnt there she didnt know what the guys were saying to Scott (obviously admitting that she in fact kknew that SOMETHING was said to Scott). I sent Michelle a few texts, each one nastier than the one before, it took me saying "I knew u guys didnt like me but DAMN didnt think you had that kind of NIGGER shit in yas!" before she texted me back saying the same shit, that the boys were doin their thing and she wasnt around. So that night I got very little sleep, worried that Scott's drunken pilled out ass would figure out how to stick a hanger in the door and pop the lock open and start shit with me in the middle of the night. Meanwhile I gotta be up at 5am, and it was Cassidy's birthday : (

The next day at work I figure he'd call me when he woke up SOBER and apologize for what he said the night before. By lunch time I hadnt heard anything from him and when I called him he sez "I think you need to come get your kid and all your stuff out of my house" "WTF, do I need to leave work?" "Cassidy's fine, you know I wouldnt mistreat her..." then we argued about what it was exactly that his friends said. That friday was my first check plus I still had all of Scott's $$ and I was spozed to pay his car insurance, get a bank account and do a rez run after work so I needed to know if I should do those things or if I should pick up Cass and do them. I still had to meet Pedro in Avon for them to pick up Cass. Her bday party was Sunday at the Moose lodge in the `Daygwa and the pedros couldnt make it so I let them have her Friday and Saturday and they did their own thing. Scott was fine with me running the errands without her but was still giving me shit like "I thought you were the girl I'd actually marry" (he never married baby momma nor his last ex whom somehow got to keep his house his land and half his car collection???). So things still werent honkey dorrey. When I got home to get Cass things still werent better tho we talked nicer to each other. "I didnt fuck some girl in front of your redneck friends... why would I do something behind your back that I know is OK to do in front of your face???" and he thought about that a minute and he agreed, "I know you didnt fuck her, but why would they say that" so really he was upset that his best friends would hurt him like that "It's still your fault though, I lost my friends cuz of you!" OMG Right? Cass gave him a hug and he started crying and I asked for a hug and he told me no, so I left to drop her off still worried that I wasnt gonna have a boyfriend or a place to live or a car to drive, Id have to quit a brand new job....

I took my time dropping Cass off. No, I had waited on the rez run cuz that was for baby daddy, he was gonna do me a "smokes for smoke" trade so we did the rez in Pembroke, then took 5 all the way to Avon, took rte 20 back to Attica. Katelyn called close to me just leaving Avon and we talked till I was in Attica. She hoped her and I could still be friends, no matter what the stupid rednecks in town think of us. She's open about her sexuality (her myspace sez Bi while mine sez Not Sure) and has more of a teenage approach to her "social differences" in a small town than I do. Now close to 30 years old, I try to blend in most of the time, I shaved off the mohawk my second week here while Katelyn wants everybody to know she's a dyke slut who loves black cock.... So anyway I still wasnt sure what awaited me at home so I went to Katelyn's and we figured what's the worst Scott could do or say if we show up at his house with some liquor??? We waited around for her dad to leave the bar so that she could leave the house (she watches her lil sis) and in the meantime Jay shows up. he was nonplussed that we were hanging out but really he's got no control over Katelyn, and Im sure working in Billy's shop he hears about it all the time from Bill. WTF does he expect, knocking up a 16 year old when he's 33 anyway, ya know??? Serves him right that she disrespects him like that. Anyway before we left she was in the house (trailer) getting things together for her baby who was comin with, and her dad gets me by the picnic table "You seem pretty smart, I saw your nursing shit hanging off the mirror when I was checking out your sweet ride... so tell me, I can trust my daughter and grand-daughter with you, right? She used to run with a bad crowd and get into all kinds of trouble, just tell me there will be no trips to the city or anything like that" "No sir. I see that you know she drinks, and we might puff a little bit but nothing harder than that and definitely no trips to the city." "Good, now that we got an understanding, if you ever find any oxy's let me know, cuz I like pills." God bless her family ya know, theyre still married, the mom works in the gast station deli pizza place thing and he works maintenance at the amusement park, two daughters one trouble one gonna be trouble, a grand daughter and I kid you not at least 20 kittens running around their property. Jay's done packing up his tent, he's going all the way to Pennsylfuckenvania for the weekend to do a 4 wheeler poker run (I told you REDNEX!) and I got the same "dont get my girl in trouble" lecture from Jay as I got from her dad. Damn straight I'll take REAL GOOD CARE of your daughter and your girlfriend muhahahaha.

OK Im tired of typing and I didnt get to the sexy details (ahem I mean "the good care i took of the daughter") nor to the part about me almost dying (it's been a long time since death was knockin at my door, good to see I still got it in me, SERIOUSLY). But anyway I been on the comp 2 hours now. Let me put some black boxes on some pics and see if Andrew wont let em stay on my diary....

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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