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So much for no strings attached, hmph.

Why do I get so obsessed? Am I really that lonely? How the hell do I even have time to be lonely anyway? Why do I think about sex/boys like 24-fucken-7??? Anyway.

That's how hot I looked last night. Not that I'm not that hot all the time, lol. And here's another one of Shawn.

I think maybe he's just a good eraser, the other guys I've screwed since Scott weren't that good. I dont fucken know. And since when did I become a slut? Guess I'm making up for all the sex I didnt have in high school, and all the crappy PTSD sex with Lon those almost 7 years (not that it was Lon's fault, I bet sex with him now would be killer, and it sux he got the fat psycho me and not the hot sex addict psycho me heh).

Speaking of psycho, I have an appt with my counselor tomorrow at 9am and I just remembered she gave me a homework assignment to do, which I've only halfassed completed so i should finish that.

Cassidy has a cold, was feeling miserable all night. I picked her up from Pedro's around 5pm, hung at the Moose for an hour with my mom, then got some pizza, then on the way home mom wanted to stop at the gas station for some soda (I get free stuff even when not working) and I said I could go for a coffee. Then as soon as we pulled in Heather comes out and asks if I can work for Sam, this old guy who keeps having to leave early at least two shifts a week, sometimes in an ambulance.... Customers who know I work overnights on weekends asked me what I was doin there 8pm on a Tuesday and I'd answer "I just came in for a fucken coffee..." Godzilla was not amused with me saying I'd finish Sam's shift, and neither was Cassidy who pretty much begged me not to work, and I started crying as I was explaining to her why mommy has to work so much. "Mommy buy a car and then mommy not work so much" "No, Nani's car!" she's too smart. It's time-and-a-half and almost makes up for me calling into walmart this morning. But it also reminds me of my mom working and working and me never seeing her when i was young, and still not having clothes or shoes or toys or a real place to live....

The therapist says I should keep living with my mom until Im through with school. Then today at Pudgie's (the pizza place I eat at like 3 times a week) my mom asks if I'll get an apartment with her after we gotta move outta the house we live in now. I was planning on getting into low income ghetto housing, which she hates the idea of Cassidy living in, but wtf else can I afford? Like I REALLY wanna be living with her for 2 more fucken years. She cant afford a place on her own though, and she's guilt tripping me about me moving in with her anytime I need to, and not paying much rent, which is true, I have fallen back on her a few times, but for 2 years? It might be easier without Heather n Kevin. And it's nice to have her home at nights with Cassidy so sometimes I can go to karaoke. I dont fucken know. It's bad enough I gotta live with myself, now I gotta live with my other worst enemy too?

Just picture the smashed up charger and SMILE Jo!

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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