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There's another new entry before this one FYI

A letter to Jerico that I havent given to him yet but I like to keep a copy of shit I write to people anyway...:

""Good things will happen for you one day" Pretty much everybody that's ever hurt me has said this! "You'll find happiness" you said. But I WAS happy! Don't you get it??

It's ok though. This wasn't a fluke. I talked about how it made the break-up worse cuz it was the first time I had been dumped, that I was always the one to do the leaving. Anyway, also and most importantly, this was the first time in my life that I was really happy, that all the areas of my life were good. I've been doing a LOT of deep thinking and introspection and came to the realization that I'm mourning the loss of the happiness more than the loss of you. BUT it wasn't all you that made me happy. I still have a great kid, nice apartment, I still get hotter everyday. You're not the last guy, life's not over, I will love and be loved again... See LOTS of thinking! I didn't believe that I had made any significant changes since the "break-up" with Scott and Katelyn, and I feared I would go back to how I was during the months after leaving them and meeting you. I've been scared that I would go back to being the hate-filled robot hell bent on self-destruction (you know, my old self), and I realized that there's no robot anymore and there's nothing to be afraid of. Anyway I still want you in my life as a friend like we talked, you really are the best person Ive met in a long time. I still want the apartment stuff and car stuff to happen. I worry you'll reneg on the car, but anyway.

Thank you for a wonderful 4 months. I hope you had as much fun as I did. I'm glad I got to share my life with you, even if it was brief."

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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