Defining Moments of My Life
letter to Jerico

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letter to Jerico
05.01.08 4:53 p.m.

There's another new entry before this one FYI

A letter to Jerico that I havent given to him yet but I like to keep a copy of shit I write to people anyway...:

""Good things will happen for you one day" Pretty much everybody that's ever hurt me has said this! "You'll find happiness" you said. But I WAS happy! Don't you get it??

It's ok though. This wasn't a fluke. I talked about how it made the break-up worse cuz it was the first time I had been dumped, that I was always the one to do the leaving. Anyway, also and most importantly, this was the first time in my life that I was really happy, that all the areas of my life were good. I've been doing a LOT of deep thinking and introspection and came to the realization that I'm mourning the loss of the happiness more than the loss of you. BUT it wasn't all you that made me happy. I still have a great kid, nice apartment, I still get hotter everyday. You're not the last guy, life's not over, I will love and be loved again... See LOTS of thinking! I didn't believe that I had made any significant changes since the "break-up" with Scott and Katelyn, and I feared I would go back to how I was during the months after leaving them and meeting you. I've been scared that I would go back to being the hate-filled robot hell bent on self-destruction (you know, my old self), and I realized that there's no robot anymore and there's nothing to be afraid of. Anyway I still want you in my life as a friend like we talked, you really are the best person Ive met in a long time. I still want the apartment stuff and car stuff to happen. I worry you'll reneg on the car, but anyway.

Thank you for a wonderful 4 months. I hope you had as much fun as I did. I'm glad I got to share my life with you, even if it was brief."


Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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About Me
I am a bipolar genius, child abuse & addiction survivor, who is now a single mother who works 70 hours a week and has had gastric-bypass weight loss surgery a year ago. Wish me luck cuz I need it!!!

Examples of My Insanity
Dead On Mental Health Quiz
Tuna Noodle Casserole Story
Explaining Myselves
Biting Off Redneck's Finger
Got So Crazy Scratched Til I Bled
How I Found Nirvana
Leaving Lon After 7 Years
Bad Luck On 3 July 4ths
Random Craziness (FBI Please Disregard)
How I Ended Up A Junky
Almost Getting Raped by a Marine
Typical Weekend in Ohio
How Cobain Saved My Life


How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?


AFTER


WHAT'S MY NAME?!?