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Me... smile? So yeah I was at work -the gas station "Clerks" job- in the middle of vaccuuming the floor when Scott's daughter walks in to pay for some gas. She goes to college out here and the guy she dates (ahem the regular from the crackhouse her father fixed her up with) lives out passed my gas station. I knew I was bound to run into her at some point, but I figured it would be at walmart seein it's across the street from her college. Anyway she was quite surprised to see me, we did the awkward hug thing... she asked me what happened, cuz all she heard from her step-sister (who lived across the hall from me n scott) was that there was a fight, ambulances took both of us to the hospital, he got arrested later on & was in jail for a day or two. I told her that we'd been hanging out with katelyn ("ugh that whore he's dating now?") he'd started partying more and more and that i didnt wanna be doing that shit anymore, that I thought katelyn told him I was cheating on him with some black dude ("oh yeah he definitely would kill you for that"). She told me briefly about the times he'd hit her and her mom and stepmom, she said she'd be willing to testify if I needed her, and though she doesnt talk to Natalie (the stepmom, Amanda's mom) much anymore that she'd talk to Amanda who would talk to Natalie for me. Not that the testimony from jilted-exlovers is all that convincing but whatever. I shouldnt even need their testimony, the physical evidence should aquit me on its own. (Famous last words???) But OK lemme get to the part that makes me smile... she says that Katelyn's been wearing my ring, well the whole time she was fucking my man plus half the ghetto in Rochester and Batavia, she was also stringing along her baby daddy. Her baby daddy works for Billy, Scott's (ex?)best friend. When baby daddy (cant remember his name!) saw the ring, then put 2+2 together... figured out that she wasnt just partying with us... anyway he was over at Billy's, where all the good ole boys store their cars... and he did a wee bit o damage to the charger, like to the tune of $50K!!! Also Jenny said that Scott's disability was all fucked up and he was thinking about selling the car, or it was looking like he was going to have to sell it, but now it's pretty much worthless so he lost the car AND he still owes the back disability stuff.

So it feels good that the 'tit for tat' happened, even tho I had nothing to do with it -unless you believe in voodoo, witchcraft and karma, but at any rate I am definitely smiling. I hope burning my teddy bear was worth it mother fucker. Klondyke was kinda like a familiar to me, and those dont ever really die, they just find a new home... so what Im trying to say is that I still have my KD, he just looks different. That bear was only sentimental to me cuz it's all I had left from Lon, and also I wanted Cassidy to have him. anyway... oh what else made me smile... Jenny says that Amanda says that Scott and Katelyn fight all the time and she leaves the baby with him overnights, sometimes two nights... so she's cheating already (duh). It's all working out very nicely.

Me on the other hand... how am I doin? Well when I switch to the cashier position next week I wont have to do double-triples anymore on the weekends cuz my new assistant manager said she'd keep me M-F as long as I can open (6am or 7am). Sounds good to me. Mom says that I'll drive the car myself, come home on my hour lunch and she'd drive me back. It's more gas $$ outta my pocket but it'll make sure I'm at work on time. I wasnt counting on them keeping me, cuz of all the lates, but hopefully I'll start showin up earlier. I was thinking of giving my mom an enhanced work schedule, writing down that I start a half hour earlier than I really do. I was looking forward to the time off (with them not making me permanent) but it's nice to have income to count on. REALLY REALLY want a car, REALLY REALLY REALLY want an apartment. I thought they were trying to call me into work at the gas station tonight but they only had a question about my paperwork. I woulda gone in. They'll prolly still call.

Something else that makes me smile... Last summer when I moved from the cabin back here in manchester (I was here all of a month I think), I was foolin around with mohawk boy, though that has always been just foolin, we know him, and then I went on a couple dates with other guys before I met Scott. Well there was one guy from karaoke that I had a date with, he was the most promising (like he had a good job, was educated, decent vehicle etc) of any of them I had gone out with before meeting Scott. Well I stood that guy up on a date cuz I had met Scott a few nights before and was talking on the phone with him all day every day, knew I really liked him so going on a date with a different guy felt wrong (doh!). So anyway now that I'm back in town I've seen the guy I stood up a few times. We've made small talk other times but last night we really hung out and started to really talk. Rosalie never showed so he said he'd give me a ride home, which ended up being a ride to his home lol. Well, his parents' home, he was embarassed but he knows I'm in the same boat, he didnt need to explain. Why pay for an apartment you're never gonna be at? Anyway it was cute, halfway through karaoke he was like "so why'd you stand me up?" I was hoping he wouldnt bring it up. I explained a little bit "There was a guy I had met at a party, and we'd been talking on the phone, it seemed things were gonna go places so I didnt show for the date with you." Very honest and it made sense to him he said. Then he put it all together... "Wait... the black eye you had a few months ago..." "Yeah, looks like I shoulda kept that date with you huh?" then he got all Im so sorry, not all men are like that yadda yadda and I stopped him and was like "I know, dont worry... I'll talk about it, it's not a big deal, but I dont wanna bring it all up when I'm at karaoke..." subject change. So we had a VERY nice night together. Talked a little bit of seriousness, I said I wasn't looking for anything too heavy duty serious between both jobs and all the shit I got going on, and he's the same cuz he's a paid EMT, plus is taking firefighter classes so he's got classroom AND volunteer firefighter stuff to do, plus he's still a dj/kj... then he's got a 12 year old son every other weekend, sometimes more often. He understands the triple-doubles and not thinking clearly from sleep deprivation and not having time to do laundry let alone be in a relationship (or wait, maybe this is my committment issue talking lol) so anyway things might progress, but slowly. He was A LOT of fun, it was pretty wild, tho we had to be quiet. Also he was like "don't be offended but I always wear condoms" it's the first time EVER that a guy has VOLUNTEERED to wear one. I made sure to thank him and tell him that I thought it was very polite and respectable. Afterwards (an hour and a half and two condoms later) we both joked "gee imagine how good it'd be if one or both of us hadn't just worked double shifts and we maybe even slept this weekend, and we weren't trying to be quiet..." He does 12 hour EMT shifts then goes right to the firehall for an 8 hr shift, has 4 hours off then does it all again, those are his weekends. Even if we wanted to date when the hell would we do it? We really oughtta schedule some time to get a room somewhere lol. He wrote my number down 4 different places throughout the night so I'm pretty sure he'll call. He told me where he was dj-ing tonight but I dont think I'll stop in, I think that would be too soon, unless all I did was stop in. Ive been to a lot of bars n karaoke shows, and the girls that buzz around the djs tend to be skanky, I dont wanna be one of those girls. He also asked me a bunch of times "You still got my card? Lemme give you my number again." he gave me his business card back in May, I had to show it to him to make sure it was the right number. Damn dude, I thought you said no strings lol. Just thought of something to say to him "Now we said 'no strings attached', but uhh... what about ropes?"

Here's a pic I snagged from his myspace. And here's a link to what I said about him back in May

OK so I've been helping my mom do her bankruptcy paperwork on n off all morning and now she's asking me to drop her off at the casino, gee mom it dont get plainer than that.... She was gonna let me use the car today so I need to drop her off there first. Gotta buy some shoes, and some black stockings, razors, (condoms?) etc

So Happy New Year everybody, here's to fresh starts and all that.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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