Defining Moments of My Life
Mohawk Boy

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Mohawk Boy
06.19.07 5:20 p.m.

Geoff Geoff Geoff... you all are thinking "what happened to Rob?" well, fuck Rob, dumbass got drunk, told me he loved me and never talked to me again. But that's OK cuz the cons were starting to add up to more than the pros with that guy. Geoff Geoff Geoff. He oughtta be on his way back to rehab by now. I hope so anyway. I was in heaven all weekend. A million little scenes to remember. I torture myself with the pictures I took of him, such a beautifully sexy tight little body, tiny little beer gut is sexy too.

I met a guy at the little party I was at Thursday night/Friday morning with Johnny. His name's Scott. He's already totally in love with me, we talk on the phone two hours a day. He says he's gonna quit doing coke and spend his money on me. We'll see.... LOL anyway Geoff was mad jealous. Then at karaoke Sunday night I was talking-then-flirting with this guy with the most amazing blue eyes. Geoff really didn't like that. Trying to downplay the fact that I was at the bar with a man I told the guy that G was a friend who was out of rehab and I was trying to get him back in. As Geoff was actin a fool the whole night the other guy was cool with the explanation. Hasn't called me though. I got enough boys callin... Shawn, the biker dj guy who I stood up a few weeks ago, he was at karaoke and asked me where I was that night, but there was that same big girl all over him that was marking her territory that one night, so I figured he went with plan b. Yet he was still asking if I wanted to ride his harley. Don't get me wrong, things are great with Geoff, but he's goin back into rehab and also is a big time playa and cant stay committed/monogamous for longer than a month so I'm keeping my options open.

Though, like I've said before, every time I look at him I fall in love. When my cell rings at 11:19pm and it's his name on my screen I get butterflies and giggles. He's the last man I ever cared about, the last one (and the next one) to break my heart, as the story goes (as I write it). Just like our first go-round, it'll be a pleasure having my heart broken by something so beautiful.

Saturday he called me asking me to hang out. He'd been calling me 2 times a day for the last week wanting to hang out. We woulda hung Thursday, like I called Jason to pick me up, then we grabbed Geoff, sang one song at Farmer's karaoke and that's when Johnny was like "How YOU doin..." and we went to the city. geoff was smart enough not to come but not smart enough to make me not go. Anyway... Saturday geoff called and wanted me to hang out in Canandaigua with him. I told him I wanted to watch the fireworks and chill at the carnival for a while so he said if he found a ride to me would it be ok if he came over? he was there in 10 minutes. Everyone always leaves me hanging and paranoids me about when/if theyre coming, nice to have someone actually SHOW UP! My mom and Heather and Kevin went down and Geoff and I stayed behind, started drinking. We got back from walking to the gas station and he took his shirt off. I thought to myself "So this is what it's like to be in love with your best friend..." We talked and hung out on the porch. Came time for the fireworks and I called my cousin Pig Fucker for a ride. We coulda walked but my knee was sore cuz I banged it up at work pretty badly. We got separated from PF and Erin but that was OK. Geoff found us a nice spot on the hill to see the 'works. I had "snuck in" a few beers (not that hard in a town where 80% of the adult pop are drunks) which we passed between us. For some reason beer doesnt taste bad when I'm drinking it with him (aww how romantic lol). After the works we headed back to my place. I was supposed to work Sunday 6 am (that didn't happen!) so I wanted to "get things going" with geoff early, plus we'd have alone time before anybody else got back from the festivities. We were already in bed making out but Heather knocked on the door around midnight asking if we wanted to come across the street to drink with her, kevin n mandy. So we got dressed and went over to the Timbercreek for a while. Geoff and I came back before the rest of them.

Sex with Geoff is always hit and miss because of his drinking. My version of Losing My Religion fits him to a T ("That's me on the corner, that's me drinking Natty Ice, losing me erection, trying to keep it up for you but I dont know if I can do it, oh no I drank too much -I havent drank enough"). So it was quite surprising when he was like "OK sorry to change the subject but I'm gonna start fucken you right now..." and we were at it till morning. He's a very responsive lover, which I like. He also paid a lot of attention to me. He did things to me that I used to do to Harlan (nuff said on that one wink wink). We fucked a couple more times Sunday night but we were crashing at some crazy girl's house (Sara and Dave's place) and things were too weird -and filthy- for us to really get into it. I was spozed to work Monday too.... So that morning we hopped a bus back to my mom's house and hung out here all day. I was out of money, which meant he was out of beer. He wanted to try to get back into rehab anyway so it wasnt all that big of a deal. We got some really good, much needed sleep. When the DT's started to kick in I gave him a bj, the best in his life he said, -you know tongue ring and all- first time he came all weekend (at least he could get it hard). We snuggled naked until after one, then I cooked us a nice lunch. My mom flipped out via voicemail and Geoff had to be gone by the time she got home. I got him on a bus around 6pm. I dont wanna talk about my mom, that'll be another entry.

Sunday at the weirdo's place, he and I talked a lot. We cried more than we fucked, that's for sure. He told me some very mean things his mom did to him and about how crazy she is. Earlier that day we were walking around Canandaigua (for like 5 hours I shit you not) and I was blabbing my mouth and he started goin "blah blah blah blah blah" and I play-slapped him in the face. It REALLY pissed him off. Of course I apologized and of course he knew I was only playing but he wouldnt talk about it anymore when it happened, in his mostly-drunkeness he said "We'll talk about it at 3am" so I kept watching the clock for 3am and when it rolled around he started talking about his mom. She used to leave him tied up for days, lock him in closets, baby sitter sex abuse stuff similar to mine (note to self: board game spinners), physical abuse I never experienced... then what did me in was when he told me how once his mom caught all these feral cats on their farm and killed them in a most gruesome and not-shareworthy-with-dland kind of way, to which Geoff was wittness to as a young boy. Her schizzophrenic-drunken rampages were everyday occurances he says. The lovemaking between us was extra passionate after that but we kept ending up crying so it was quick.

Anyway, he called last night while I was talking to Scotty-too-hotty (coke party guy), G and I talked for half an hour when I called him back. I was trying to stay awake to talk longer but his phone's battery was dying anyway so we said goodnight. I really hope he's back at FLACRA now, Things will pick up between us when he's out again, he says. It was beautiful while it lasted, which is all one can hope for.


Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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About Me
I am a bipolar genius, child abuse & addiction survivor, who is now a single mother who works 70 hours a week and has had gastric-bypass weight loss surgery a year ago. Wish me luck cuz I need it!!!

Examples of My Insanity
Dead On Mental Health Quiz
Tuna Noodle Casserole Story
Explaining Myselves
Biting Off Redneck's Finger
Got So Crazy Scratched Til I Bled
How I Found Nirvana
Leaving Lon After 7 Years
Bad Luck On 3 July 4ths
Random Craziness (FBI Please Disregard)
How I Ended Up A Junky
Almost Getting Raped by a Marine
Typical Weekend in Ohio
How Cobain Saved My Life


How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?


AFTER


WHAT'S MY NAME?!?